Baby, breathe
by BlueBerryBoo
Summary: In hiding within the warzone that used to be Jump City, the tyrants on the streets were bound to find where they were, from all the screaming. "Robin!" she finally cried. "I cannot – ! I am s-so tired –" she sobbed. "Star…" was all he could find himself saying.
1. Chapter 1- Soon

Jump City is a war zone. It is deserted; grey. It is lifeless and dangerous. No one dares walk through the deadly streets that were so full of life and busy people just three months ago. The Titans, former teens, took it as their responsibility to find the refugees and citizens in hiding, and bring them to a safer location somewhere across the border. In the perilously quiet streets, is the grunting and shifting of a former Boy but still a present Wonder. Now he stands still, assessing what he's done. On the pavement now lays a beaten and bleeding Soldier of the Law; a killer. Alarmingly exposed, he drags the body out of sight in a nearby empty shop, even knocking some cans nearby in attempt to make it look as if it was accident that killed this soldier, but Robin wasn't fooling anyone if they came to investigate for the missing officer. Cans of fava beans could never kill these brutal troopers. They'd know the two of them were still in Jump. They'd find them soon enough.

Robin swiftly returned to what he'd been fervently protecting. He walked out of the shop, went left until the end of the street, made another left, then found the place they were staying, across the road. The brick was maroon, and the two windows on both sides of the door were long and large like many store windows, but blinds concealed what was inside. TRAVEL TODAY was written across the top in neon letters, missing a D with a flickering R. He entered inside, moving aside with one hand the long make-shift cloth curtain where the door should've been. They occupied what appeared to have been, before the hostilities, a Travel Agency office amongst the many small shops that were lined along these downtown streets. It was dark, messy, and small inside with packed boxes piled against all the walls and small shelves that had fallen onto the floor. The room had a long counter in the centre of the room, which lay a sprawled, feverish and feeble damsel. She was indeed carrying a child in her womb, but looking so weak and delicate, to Robin she was still just a young girl. On the other hand, Robin was no longer just a boy, but a man protecting his lover and unborn child in the midst of strife, while in the meantime, trying to rescue the other hiding refugees.

He took a moment to watch and asses her condition. She grimaced even in her sleep, and her rising and falling chest looked like panting. The little light from the flickering light bulb shone off her, her face layered with a thin layer of sweat and red hair that stuck to her forehead. Seeing her like this made him stressed, and when he heard quiet shuffling from outside in the streets, he just wouldn't have it. Hearing the figure quietly enter from behind him, he hastily prepared his arms for battle.  
"Robin." said the raspy voice.  
He subtly exhaled in relief.  
"How'd you find us?" he asked.  
"Your anxiety is hard to miss."  
"Thanks for coming. I don't know what to do at this point, Raven."  
She walked over and examined the sleeping Tamaranian.  
"Soon." was all she said.


	2. Chapter 2- Baby

"What are you feeling?" asked Raven, wetting a cloth and placing it gingerly on her forehead.  
"The little one is – " she grimaced. "moving less than usual. My lower back is in much pain, as well." Her voice was weak. Raven nodded calmly and gave her a cup of water.  
"Drink." she said, and softly attempted a smile. Who knew all these years, the time Raven would smile was when it was not at all, time to smile.  
She motioned to Robin who was beside the counter to meet her in the back storage room.

"We need to talk." she said, once they were inside the closet sized room.  
"Is she alright?" he asked, keeping his voice under control, but still undoubtedly tense.  
"You have to understand why this is especially wearying for her. She is a Tamaranian; her body is meant to have Tamaranian babies. The fact that this child is half-human is going to be difficult and there's no telling how that can affect her. It's already starting to become a problem."  
"What do you –" he interrupted.  
"Human babies leave the womb head first, but Tamaranian babies leave with their legs leading. If the baby leaves head first, it may be more strenuous for her. And if the baby is genetically confused and somehow doesn't assume either position…"  
Robin took a moment to try to understand what she was saying and the implications. He stroked his chin and jaw and cheeks. Then ran his fingers through his hair.  
Pulling himself together, he finally asked. "Does she know that."  
She went back and forth, mentally, deciding whether or not she should hold back.  
Ofcourse she knew. She sighed.  
"I believe it could be the reason she is unusually ill; anxiety from understanding the risk."


	3. Chapter 3- Breathe

She's shrieking. She has been since a quarter past three. It was now just after eight o'clock. Nothing was moving along and Starfire was still shaking and wailing to no effect. Her head whipped from side to side as if having a bad dream, with tears soaking her cheeks. Raven stood at the end of the table, waiting for the delivery, but complications showed the situation to be abnormal. The delivery had appeared to have begun, she'd been pushing for hours, much too long, but the child still wouldn't move. None of them understood what was happening, but worst of all, if there were tyrants out there on the streets, they were bound to find where they were, from all the screaming.

"Robin!" she finally cried. "I cannot – !"

"Star, **_you have to." _**He was stern. He had to be, for the both of them. Or else he would crumble when she needed him most.

"I am s-so tired –" she sobbed. She had a death grip on to the edge of the counter, leaving imprints from her Tamaranian strength.

"Star…" was all he could find himself saying, one hand stroking under her neck and the other on her stomach.

She screamed one last time, and gave a final few heaves that took all of whatever strength she had left. Finally, the sound of a baby's crying could be heard. Hers was no longer heard.  
Raven quickly carried the baby out, headfirst as it turned out, and cut the umbilical cord, skillfully toweling the child clean with her removed cloak.  
Starfire's eyes were closed, her breath short and slow. Robin hastily felt her pulse on her neck. It was slower than what he considered normal.

"_Raven_!"

Baby in hand, she repeated what Robin had just done.  
Nervously she mumbled "… t-too much for her h-h-eart…"

Robin eyes burrowed in concentration at the young, Tamaranian princess lying on the counter looking defeated, and saw her chest instantly stop rising. He rashly checked her pulse on her neck, then again on her wrist. Nothing.  
In that very same instant he shoved his hand into his utility belt, took out an electric explosive, and yelled out to Raven.

_"Give me that book on the shelf!"_

A thick book engulfed in black magic quickly flew to his hand from the shelf at the far left of the room. He smashed the explosive on the book, triggering the  
timer on the shell. He held the book down against her chest with both hands. The explosive went off and electrocuted her, the current going through her chest, in  
hopes to revive her heart by crafting a make-shift electric fibrillator. Her upper body shuddered and trembled, jolting off the counter. In a short two seconds later, the current ceased and her body fell back onto the table. Starfire gasped desperately, as if she'd taken a breath after sinking in water. She heavily exhaled, her chest rising  
and falling dramatically. She closed her eyes again, but was thankfully she was breathing – panting– this time.  
Robin threw the book to the other side of the room and fell to his knees in relief. He was gripping the table, his eyelids falling in relief. Raven's violet eyes, on the contrary, were huge. Her knees shook ridiculously and so did her arms which now held the crying baby.


	4. Chapter 4- Fallen Soldier

Starfire was lying on her side on the counter with the swaddled baby  
placed next to her. He was secretly relieved to find the child had stopped  
crying. He watched the alien from where he stood. Her smile resurfaced on her  
tired face, as she traced the child's tiny button nose, tummy and toes with her  
index finger. For a reason he couldn't totally explain, his heart did a little  
jump, like it used to do when he caught her looking his way, when they were teenagers.  
For the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. Happy, even.

"Robin." she said laughing and glowing.

He made his way over to behind the counter, and rested his forearms on the  
table. It was amazing how much trouble something so small could cause; the baby  
didn't look like it could weigh anything more than 6 pounds.

"It is a girl." she beamed.

The sleeping baby was lying on her back, with her face turned towards her  
mother, her full cheek against the coolness of the table, chest slowly rising  
and falling. Robin noticed the baby's provisional diaper was generously made  
from a piece of Raven's cloak. The baby's skin wasn't pale, but wasn't quite as  
golden as her mother's; more of a tint of halcyon. For an infant, she had a lot  
of hair on her head, the same ivory black as her father's. But it was when she'd  
opened her eyes that he was suddenly baffled. It was an odd but amazing sight;  
that green fluorescent, pupil-less eyes could belong to this tiny being. And at  
the sight of her mother's eyes on his child, the baby was finally forgiven.  
Looking back, it was the instant Robin first loved her.

"She is evidently stubborn like her father." she murmured, stroking the little  
hairs on her head.

He chuckled. "She looks like trouble, alright."

For the first time in a long time, he breathed easy. Deep, long breaths. For months  
and with reason, he'd been stiff, and always on alert; they scavenged through a  
war torn zone, in direct line of fire and in any other circumstances he'd never  
worry about his partner, being the warrior she was, but he'd been afraid  
when he found out she was carrying his child. Afraid that she'd be too weak and  
they'd take her, or learn of her vulnerabilities, or learn of the child, or –  
he shuddered. There was no saying what they'd do. But now he had the both of  
them, safe and healthy in his arms.

Starfire turned her head to him. "She still requires a name."

A name? A name. right. It hadn't even crossed his mind. He thought about a  
name; she would need to be a beautiful name of course, one that described with  
her eyes –

**_"Robin, get them out of here, now!" _**Raven yelled.

No questions were asked. No second was wasted. Starfire sat up and briskly  
picked up the baby, Robin then picking her up and fleeing to the back door exit  
that Robin had noticed earlier. He whipped the door open and was met with an  
alley. He sped left until the alley ended and they were in open air at an  
intersection. The air was foggy and grey, but it wasn't enough to conceal them.  
They needed to find shelter. Suddenly, faint and far back in the office, was a  
loud female grunt of pain.

_"Raven!"_ Starfire yelled, clutching a piece spandex on Robin's uniform.

Robin grimaced at the thought of Raven being left with the assassins, but he  
knew what he had to do. He kept running, with his girls in his arms.

"Robin, no!" Starfire yelled.

He was frustrated, he didn't need this, because he wanted to run back, too. "Star,  
I have to bring you somewhere safe. She can_ handle_ herself."

and with that they were off, a quiet silence between them, in memory of what  
felt like a fallen soldier.


	5. Chapter 5- Make-shift Home

They'd found somewhere new; not somewhere better, but somewhere new.  
Like the other location, the goal was to hide in plain sight, somewhere no one  
would expect people to hide because it'd be too foolish. Being raised by the  
Batman really changes the way you do life, really. They hid inside a rundown  
warehouse that was made of sepia tones of gray, brown and everything in between.  
The both of them were quiet; each feeling guilt and shame for leaving their  
teammate behind at the mercy of those monsters. Robin found a beat up and  
ripped mattress that was probably on its way to the dump, leaning against the  
left wall from the door. He dragged it to the far right of the room, out of the  
line of sight from anyone entering through the door, and lay it down flat on  
the ground , beating it a couple of times to get the dust off. Starfire quietly sat down on the edge of the  
mattress. He rubbed his hands together getting rid of the dust on his hands,  
then crossing his arms. In the silence, the couple observed the garage-like  
room. It was spacious, at least 30 metres wide and long. It was a familiar  
place for the two. The baby started to wail once again. Starfire cradled the  
baby back and forth, hoping for some more silence.

"Shh my little bumgorf…please be calm  
now."

Although  
both of them felt anguish, no tears were cried, no walls were pummelled. There  
was neither time, nor circumstance for either to be overcome by emotion.  
Instead, they let the child cry the tears that they should've cried themselves  
and let her wail and express what they couldn't afford to. In hopes they were  
to stay here for long, and needing time to think of his next move, he tried to arrange the cabin, taking  
cluttered things that were laid all over the floor and pushing them to the  
walls, giving some foot space. And trying to make it… a home. Maybe he wasn't  
totally ready to be a father, but some things just came naturally when you're  
given the part. In the silence – silence? Had the baby stopped crying? He  
turned back to look at where the mattress was.

Starfire  
breastfeeding her child was a sight that made him stop what he was doing. He  
watched her. He remembered why this place had been familiar. Blackfire had  
brought them here for a street party, six years ago. Starfire hadn't changed  
much since then, but he'd learned more about her every day since. She'd always  
been full of life, but at this moment she was life-giving. A little flustered  
that he'd been staring, he got back to work, pushing the big plywood crates to  
the walls, making uncomfortable screeching that echoed through the room.

A frustrated sigh came from her corner.

She  
was no longer feeding and held the baby to her chest, her little cheek lying on  
Starfire's shoulder, Starfire caressing her back. "I am terribly sorry, my  
dearest." she murmured quietly to the baby.

He made his way to their corner. "What's wrong?"

Frustrated, she said "I cannot – she is hungry- but I am infertile and–"

Of course. "You need to eat." He realized stupidly.

Shoot. When was the last time, she'd eaten anyway? He'd gotten her three  
doughnuts and two loaves of bread from what was left in the baker shop he'd  
passed by … before she went into labour. Oh, man. She was obviously undernourished.  
He slowed himself down and took a good look at her. He actually noticed that her  
cheekbones were more visible than usual, and under her eyes were bruise-coloured  
bags. Looking at her long arms and legs, that were usually sculpted with muscle,  
now reminded him of flimsy stilts. She  
was too thin. He was disturbed; by the sight and by his ignorance.


	6. Chapter 6- Mary Grayson

"Star…wakeup." she heard.  
"Mmm…" she said, half asleep.  
"Babe, get up."  
She cracked her eyes half open. She must've fallen asleep on the mattress. It was dusty and unpleasant. It was still the middle of the day. Above her was Robin looking down at her.  
"You need to eat."  
Her eyes opened fully and she sat upward. _Food…_  
Laid out across the mattress were three loaves of bread, most of them half-eaten, at least twelve cans of canned food, a peanut butter jar, a plate with six or seven cold cuts and a small bottle of… oh X'hal… mustard.  
She was going to ask "How?" or "Is this real?" or "May I be wed to you?" but they were already married and that would take time when all she really wanted was to eat.  
She started scarfing down what he'd scavenged.  
She was ravished. Robin frowned. "I'm sorry."  
"Mmmhm…" she replied with her mouth full.  
She left aside three cans and a loaf of bread for him.  
"That's alright. I already ate." he lied.

He walked into one of Gotham's supermarket. Unlike Jump's, it was buzzing with people. He stood at the front of the supermarket, overwhelmed by the twenty long aisles of full shelves. He didn't have to worry about Starfire going hungry ever again. His baby girl was huddled to his chest, as his right arm was tucked under her bottom, and her face rested on his shoulder blade. With the other hand he looked for the right bottle, squinting in concentration.  
"Alright, baby girl. What type of mustard should we get your mother?"  
"What's that? All of them? Yea, I thought so, too." Replying to himself.  
But he dropped the bottles right after picking them from the shelves.  
He held out his daughter in front of him. He suddenly felt this odd need to see the baby's eyes. But he couldn't.  
"Open your eyes, baby."  
But her eyes stayed shut.  
He was suddenly frustrated.  
_Let me see your eyes…_ he thought. _I need to …_ _why can't I…._  
"Dick?"  
That voice.  
He turned.  
"I-I can't see her eyes." was all he could say to the familiar, small-boned, strawberry blond woman.  
She was thin, and looked light enough to soar through the air. She walked over to him and sweetly took the child into her arms.  
"She's beautiful." she rocked her back and forth, smiling the way women do when they see children. "What's her name?"  
"What?"  
"What's her name? _What's her name, Dick?_"  
His eyes snapped open as he woke up in the midst of the night.  
"Mary." he found himself whispering.  
It was dark. Starfire shuffled slightly beside him.  
There was a comprehending silence.  
"Glorious." she whispered, but you could hear her smiling. "Mar'i."

_You'd be proud, mom…_ he thought.


	7. Chapter 7- Proud

_You'd be proud, mom…_ he thought.

There was a part of him that wished his mother could see him now. The last time she had seen him, he was a child; nine years old, young, clueless. But he'd grown a lot since then, and she'd be proud. As a kid, he'd make sure to show her every new trick he'd learned on the trapeze to see her over exaggerated gasps and cheering. It was his favourite part of learning something new. Now he was holding his infant with one arm; holding her soft little head in the palm of his hand, with her little body laid across his forearm. He tried to imagine his mother's face if she saw him holding his little baby girl; his biggest accomplishment. She was his biggest accomplishment because she was a symbol. After his parents died, he insisted on closing himself off, never loving again, and being vulnerable. But in the time since, he'd found love, made love, and chose love, and Mar'i was a materialization of that love. When he imagined Mary Grayson's face, she wasn't over exaggerating her gasps, nor was she cheering, but she was smiling. And crying a little, too.


	8. Chapter 8- Strong Enough

Robin woke up that morning alone. He stretched out his arm across the mattress and felt the empty spot where a body should have been. He rubbed his eyes and put on his mask. Starfire was already awake and stirring around the warehouse.  
His voice being huskier in the morning, he cleared his throat. "What'cha doin'?" he mumbled only half awake.  
She turned her head to him, from where she was standing on the far right, across the garage.  
She finished wrapping something, then made her way to him, and stood. She'd taken his cape and tied the baby on her back, to herself, tying it at the front of her torso, looking ready for a long trip. She stood in front of him.  
He stood up. "No." he said plainly.  
Frustrated she said, "Robin, I know you are aware that we are already weeks behind schedule."  
"You're still not recovered, Star."

He walked to the stuffy, tiny washroom behind one of the doors, and splashed water on his face. Turning off the faucet, he no longer bent over the sink, but stood up about to towel his face.  
Instead of starting a fight, she reached out and held his still wet face in her two hands, resting his forehead on hers. They both stood still, breathing for a moment. Water dripped down Robin's nose and onto the floor.  
The intimate silence soothed them, assured them.  
"You remember, yes?" she whispered and smiled. "I am stronger than I look."  
He did remember saying that before. And another day is another day that the refugees could be found by the tyrants.  
"Star…" he said running his thumb across her cheek.  
"I can handle myself." she said. Then regretted it.  
It reminded them both of Raven.


End file.
